Fast Talk With Jeff Smith: The Nature Of Beasts

Jeff Smith cropIt was a simple plan. I wanted to yank the headers off my ’65 Chevelle. After meeting with the guys from Nitroplate, the exhaust systems coating people, I looked at my rusty headers on the Chevelle and thought – “Those headers look lame. It’s time to get them coated.”

The plan was to start on Sunday morning and I figured I could have them off by lunchtime and then move on to any number of a hundred other projects screaming for my attention. The last two weekends I had spent on the shop, installing new cabinets and playing with a wood table saw that we were using to cut aluminum sheet. So this day was going to be a fun day to work on my ’65. At first, all went well. I removed the collector bolts and then moved to the engine compartment where I removed all the spark plugs and header bolts. The passenger side came off relatively easy. I thought the Moroso kick-out road race oil pan or the starter might cause me grief but the header nearly fell out.

65 chevelle 010The driver side was not so easy. After removing the clutch linkage and left side motor mount bolt, jacking the engine should have produced room. The problem was that the oil pan kicks out on the driver side as well. As I lifted the engine, this moved the kick-out in an arc – right into the header. Worse yet, I could not get the clutch linkage ball stud out of the block. It seemed to be welded in place. Arrgghh.

The next step called for removing the four-speed. It was scheduled to come out anyway to repair some minor leaks, so out it came along with the bellhousing in hopes of producing more clearance. That move proved only that I can remove the transmission in my Chevelle in under 15 minutes. Another hour passed and I was no further along. Next I removed the steering column. That helped but it was still not enough. The oil pan and the lower control arm mount in the frame conspired to block the header’s exit. After numerous choice adjectives, I was contemplating some type of explosive device. Small furry animals that sometimes wander by the shop on sunny afternoons were nowhere to be found and my wife decided she would rather pull weeds in the neighbor’s yard three doors down rather than listen to the vilifications escaping from the shop.

Lunchtime arrived and I decided to take a break and use my buddy Kris as a sounding board. He reminded me that I had mentioned that the engine had been in the car for over 20 years and I had talked about replacing the mechanical roller lifters. The discussion revolved around simple logic – “You’re already 80 percent there. Just pull it out.” I was adamant that wasn’t necessary. It was the principal of the thing – I shouldn’t have to yank the entire engine just to remove one header. It has to be written down in the Car Guy’s grease-stained Rules of Engagement that if you have to pull the engine to remove the header, you’ve clearly missed a step somewhere.

When it came time to return to the shop, Kris begged off – mentioning something about having to clean his pool or something. I don’t blame him. He knows me too well. Coming over to my shop on a Sunday afternoon is tantamount to stopping to talk with Tom Sawyer while he’s white washing Aunt Polly’s fence. Kris knows that somehow he’ll end up helping me do work. It’s happened too many times.

Back at the shop, the header was still waiting for me – sneering at my incompetence. I tried removing the passenger side motor mount bolt to pull the engine straight up, but the engine was tied down by several hoses. It soon became apparent that all I had left to do was remove the EFI connections, fuel lines, radiator hoses, throttle linkage, and oil pressure line and the engine should be able to jump out on its own. There appeared to be no other choice. Those final dis-connections only took about another 15 minutes – 8 of which were spent searching for tools that were on the bench but expertly camouflaged by an increasing pile of greasy engine parts.

I contemplated leaving the radiator in place, but decided against this short cut. It was now close to 3:30 when I managed to wheel the engine hoist into place and hook the chain to the engine. It still wouldn’t come out! The starter motor and oil pan conspired to snag the crossmember. So the starter had to come out. Once that was accomplished, the Chevelle begrudgingly relinquished its hold on the engine and as the oil pan cleared the crossmember, I was greeted with the sound of header pipes banging off the floor. It was a Pyrrhic victory.

After cleaning and putting away the tools and reorganizing the shop after this grease-stained ordeal, my headers and the engine are sitting on the shop floor. So now my increasingly crowded shop is even more constrained by the addition of yet another engine leaking fluids on the concrete. The headers are finally free of their imprisonment and on their way to becoming new looking. A friend commented that I’m now only half done as I must put the beast back together again. The plan is to make that easier by hacking on that driver side oil pan wing. If it gets narrower by about three inches, the headers might come out on their own – maybe. If that actually happens, then all of this might have been worthwhile. Unfortunately, there’s only one way to know for sure. That’s probably going to be another long day. And we do this for fun, right? I’m thinking of investing in stainless steel zippers to make the next go-around a little easier.

About the author

Jeff Smith

Jeff Smith, a 35-year veteran of automotive journalism, comes to Power Automedia after serving as the senior technical editor at Car Craft magazine. An Iowa native, Smith served a variety of roles at Car Craft before moving to the senior editor role at Hot Rod and Chevy High Performance, and ultimately returning to Car Craft. An accomplished engine builder and technical expert, he will focus on the tech-heavy content that is the foundation of EngineLabs.
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